Are you ruled by fear?
Even if you don’t think so, it’s surprisingly easy to let fear shape your decisions and your life and you may not even notice you are doing it.
Some fears are quite obvious, such as fear of flying, fear of public speaking or fear of the dark and their impact is obvious and visceral e.g. racing heart, sweaty palms. Others may be less tangible, for example, if we talk ourselves out of asking for a raise or asking someone on a date because deep down we don’t want to feel rejected, then those fears (of rejection or criticism) are holding us back and keep us from making new choices in our lives. Fear of change can be huge.
My methods to relieve fear.
When I find fear starting to get a grip on me, I use two approaches, both of them involving EFT tapping. I’ll outline both of them below.
1. First aid tapping.
This is for when I FEEL the fear – and it usually hits me first in the solar plexus. I feel myself freeze up and my energy contract. My breathing gets shallow and I tense up.
So, I start tapping on those physical symptoms and any emotional aspects too e.g. when a dog chased my pet ducks and nearly caught them, after the incident, I was almost shaking – it had been a close call. So, I tapped on my physical feelings of fear first. Then I dealt with the emotional reaction, as I felt it in the moment – that awful fear of feeling my animals weren’t safe, fearing that the dog could escape again and return and the helplessness that came with that fear.
That tapping helped calm me and bring relief in the moment, it relieved the shock. Yet, there was more work to do, as I was still ‘on edge’ the next day. So, I knew I had to go deeper with the tapping.
2. Finding the root of the issue.
If something doesn’t clear with the first aid tapping, it’s time to get the the core or root of the issue, to look at the underlying beliefs that keep triggering the fear. A good starting place is to list past events in your life where you felt that fear, or similar fears. What was the first time you remember it? What was the worst time? Often fear is triggered from our early belief systems and may be illogical to us as adults, but it was our way of rationalising the world around us when we were young.
It is often worth having an ally for this process, someone who can help you do this detective work. If your fear is intense, or you have strong emotional reactions while exploring your feelings, I recommend working with a professional EFT practitioner, such as myself, who can help you navigate your emotions safely and effectively.
With my issue of feeling a lack of confidence about keeping my ducks safe, I worked on an early memory of feeling threatened and unsafe when local children (older than me) would come into our garden, uninvited, to steal apples. It was that same feeling of being unsafe that got triggered when the dog chased my ducks. The issue of feeling powerless was one I also explored from my early childhood.
3. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
I know I said I’d discuss two approaches, but there is a valid third option.
We can’t eliminate all fear, e.g. when facing new challenges or making big decisions, so sometimes it’s ok to tap to take the edge off the fear and then dive in and face that situation, even if you still have some butterflies or nervousness.
‘Nerves’ e.g. before public speaking, are quite natural (and not to be confused with deep fear) and can even be seen as excitement. As a musician, I’ve used the tapping to help me be more relaxed before performances, but it would be strange to be ‘too’ relaxed, the adrenalin helps get my energy ready to perform.
The more you become aware of your own patterns and the ways you face life events, the easier it is to distuinguish between deep fear and ‘nerves’.
EFT tapping video to reduce fear
To help you get started with your tapping on fears in your life, I have made a quick EFT tapping video that you can tap along with.
To watch the video, either click here or on the image below. Enjoy.
What do you think?
I’d love to hear from you if you’ve tapped along with the video, to see how you felt afterwards and what shifts you had. So, leave a comment below if you’ve tried it. Or, let me know what ways you have found to deal with fears that arise in your life.
Feel free to share this post and video with anyone you know who will benefit from it.
Thank you.
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