This is the question I’ve been asking myself all week … can I be a happy loser?
I know I’m pretty good at being a happy winner. I can easily do a happy dance and celebrate with the best of them, but what about when things aren’t so rosy? What then?
I have to admit that’s been a challenge at times for me.
When things seem to be going wrong or not working in our lives it can be hard not to take it personally and not to make it significant.
In such times all our inner demons come out to play, telling us that we’re a failure, that we’re stupid or that it’s crazy to try again.
But I visualised it going well!
Especially when we’re fans of the law of attraction and we visualise the future we desire and then expect it to turn out just like that or better, we can get de-railed when things don’t quite match that vision, when things don’t turn out like the happy movie in our head.
It’s also hard when you’ve actually got round to taking action and it seems like you’re not getting the results you’d like.
That’s the time when doubt can creep in, and it did for me this week.
It’s a slippery slope from doubt, to self judgement, to self criticism and it’s certainly not good for morale, or for planning what to do next.
It’s not easy to be clever or resourceful when you’re being hard on yourself, trust me.
It was through the process of conquering my own doubts, on an EFT call with the wonderful Steve Wells from EFT Down Under, when he asked me that question (can you be a happy loser?) and told me the story behind it, that I had an aha moment. That question and re-frame stuck with me.
I share my story of what was bringing up my doubts and the story behind being a happy loser in this week’s video (there’s even a mini EFT tap-along at the end, to help any of you who would like to let go of feeling like a failure when things don’t work out quite as you expected).
Don’t destroy ‘the magic’.
My final tip for today is to be vigilant and catch any doubts or self judgements early, before they de-rail you.
As I say in the video, when you judge something as a failure, you destroy the magic of it. You don’t see what did work well, you don’t notice the connections or the magic that occurred or the learning from the situation that can help you in the future.
All it takes is some inner work to turn your mindset around. Sometimes, as with me this week, it helps to have someone else in your corner, who can see things differently and guide you along the path back to trusting yourself.
If you’d like some coaching to help you get back on track after a setback that left you feeling like a failure or a loser, even if it’s an old one that still plays on your mind, I’d be happy to help you. You can book a 15 minute free consultation with me here to see if we’re a good fit to work together.
Over to you.
How do you deal with failure and setbacks in your life?
Let me know in the comments section below.
And feel free to share this post with those who would benefit from it.