Dealing with disappointment

The perils of being disappointed.

The last time I felt disappointed was this morning. I felt that sinking feeling I get when I’ve decided that something hasn’t worked out / didn’t go as I’d have liked. Do you know it?  When your energy dips and you sink into a pool of unhelpful emotions such as self judgement or blame. Whatever the situation or reason for it, disappointment is a dangerous friend, as I’ve found out in the past.

It jumps to conclusions, declaring the whole thing bad or wrong, leaving no room for possibilities, no room to see any good in what’s happened. It also hangs around, so the next time you step out to try something in any way similar, it jumps in and warns you off, saying ‘why risk rejection, upset or failure … look what happened last time!’

Luckily for me, disappointment isn’t on my guest list anymore. I saw it coming and headed it off at the pass. It wasn’t even a big issue (I’d just felt that an old, undesired pattern of being unappreciated was repeating itself). As I felt the discomfort rise, this is what I did to turn it around.

Turning it around

I remembered that I had choice.

I could choose to dwell in that muck or I could choose something different. So, I asked myself one of my favourite new questions. What will I choose in the next 10 seconds, this or something else?
Why choose to stay stuck and feeling bad? I couldn’t find a good reason.

I then asked myself another question.

What is it that I would like?

I knew I’d prefer to be appreciated, I’d prefer to be around people who naturally appreciated and respected me. Once I acknowledged that, I was able to tune into the idea of that, imagining what it would be like. I started to smile again and I felt relief flood through me. I was back on track (to feeling good) again.

I know it’s not always quite that quick to turn something around, so here are some other possibilities to try.

Ask ‘What else is possible?’

This is a great question from the toolbox of Access Consciousness and it can help you to come out of snap judgements about the situation and start to dissolve the conclusions you’ve jumped to. Often when I use this question I start to see things in a different light and appreciate what I’ve learned from the situation about myself and others.

Try some EFT tapping.

If you know me, you know that EFT is my ‘go to’ technique to clear out unwanted negative emotions. You can focus on how you’re feeling in the moment or dig deeper to clear any underlying pattern of feeling disappointed. Click here for more information about EFT tapping (and watch this week’s video for a mini demonstration of using it to deal with disappointment).

Go General.

This is an Abraham-Hicks inspired approach, where you get less specific about what’s bothering you and then head towards feeling more positive e.g. by remembering that other people have been in similar situations and found ways to improve things and to feel better. I give a super quick demonstration of using it in conjunction with tapping in this week’s video.

This week’s Video

For an overview of these tips and a quick demonstration of using EFT tapping to deal with disappointment, click here or on the image below to watch this week’s video.

Over to you

Let me know in the comments section below if disappointment is a pattern for you, if you like my tips or tell me how you head it off at the pass.

As ever, feel free to pass this article along to people you know who let disappointment hold them back or weigh them down.

Thank you.