Letting go of self judgement (including tap-along video)

Are you your own best friend, worst enemy or biggest critic?

Look at your self talk – do you praise yourself when things go well? Do you judge yourself harshly for any mistake or poor decision you make – saying ‘I should have done better’? Do you call youself a failure or say to yourself that you are stupid sometimes?

I have to put my hand up here and say that I can give myself a hard time on occasion. When things haven’t turned out how I want them to be, it has been easy to blame myself. After all, I believe that I create my own reality, so really, the buck stops with me. Yes, at times I have used the Law of Attraction to beat myself up like that. Have you ever done that?

Of course, I know the power of our emotions and I can’t tolerate negative emotion for long, especially not blame, self blame in this case.

I know that it doesn’t have to be that way. That’s the great thing about inner work – while we may not be able to change how others think of us (well, we can change our reactions – but thats another story)  we CAN change our self talk and become our own champions rather than enemy.

Here’s how I do it.

Exercise 1: Be Your Own Champion

Consciously acknowledge your greatness – your successes (no matter how small), make a list of your good qualities, remember your values and what you are passionate about and remember what a brilliant person you are and the uniqueness you bring to the world.

If that is a challenge e.g. if you can’t think of those good qualities or still don’t feel ‘good enough’ after that exercise then you need to tackle those flawed beliefs directly. Think of them as deep rooted weeds. Using the exercise above helps you to nourish your positive aspects, but if your mind (which I see as being a garden of thoughts) is full of weeds, you need to get your hands dirty and dig them out. Those weedy beliefs are are often subconsicious.

Exercise 2: Weeding out Limiting Self Talk

To find the weedy thoughts, think of why you feel that way e.g. your evidence have you that you ‘can’t get it right’, that you’re ‘likely to mess things up’  or that you’re plain ‘not good enough’.

Write a list and then work through it, using meridian tapping techniques, such as EFT, to clear those weeds, one event at a time.

You can also directly dialogue with any critical inner voices using tapping and encourage a change of perspective. This can bring fresh insight into why you might self sabotage e.g. procrastinate / avoid new challenges. For example, if you are avioding completing a project because you are afriad of it being rejected or criticised, you can dialogue with the part of you that is afraid and ask it to adopt a new, more supportive role.

If it’s too daunting to do it by yourself, get support and work through this with a qualified practitioner, such as myself .

Here is a simple EFT tap-along video I made for you to get you started with tapping out self judgement. Enjoy.

Once you’ve weeded, then it’s time to go back to Exercise 1 and nurture your greatness again. Now that it has clear soil to grow in, with regular tending, it will have space to thrive and blossom.