When we’re stressed we can say some crazy stuff, both to ourselves (an internal dialogue) and out loud. Often we’re so caught up in it, that we can’t even see that we’re doing it / notice how crazy we’re being.
That’s exactly what happened to me this weekend. It was Sunday morning. The sun was shining, the garden was looking beautiful. I woke up early. I’d planned for a day pottering in the garden, so I’d expect to wake up happy and excited. Yet, I woke up feeling anxious and ‘off’. I’d niggly thoughts running through my head, a palpable sense of unease, of not being good enough and being uncomfortable, even doubtful, about the future.
That’s what I mean by inner stress talk, but I didn’t even realise that’s what it was until later.
Thank goodness I’m no longer able to tolerate feeling like that anymore, not without doing something to change it. So, I started asking some questions and then I tried some EFT tapping (my ‘go to’ tool for stress busting).
I tapped on those odd feelings and the crazy ‘not good enough’ thoughts that were running through my head. And … it didn’t really change!
So, I got curious and then I was inspired to dip into one of my EFT books, where I found exactly the piece I needed to hear… about ‘stress talk’.
What is ‘stress talk’?
The book was ‘Energy EFT‘ by Silvia Hartmann. The page was ‘Understanding Stress’. I read from it in this week’s video. It was the reminder I needed that when people are stressed they ‘say and think and do and feel all sorts of things they wouldn’t say, think, do or feel if they weren’t so stressed.’ She lists things like feeling not good enough, doubtful that you’ll succeed or that things will go right. She then goes on to say that this is STRESS TALK and, crucially that it isn’t true, it isn’t relevant … and that it doesn’t make a good EFT set up statement. True story.
Silvia recommends instead to start by tapping to generally de-stress before addressing specific issues ( tapping to address what’s underneath the stress talk). She’s a wise lady.
So, take her advice and do some general ‘stress’ tapping when your mind is telling you how awful things are or how they won’t get any better. You can just keep tapping using the word stress. Tune in to those crazy thoughts and let them dissolve.
Is the stress and stress talk even yours?
As I read that piece, an awareness came up for me. When I read how none of that stress talk is really true, I remembered how easily we can take on other people’s crazy thoughts and beliefs and then wear them as our own.
(Lately, I’ve been playing with that by using the ‘Who does that belong to?’ tool from Access Consciousness, or I’ll ask ‘is that even mine?’ You can read more about that here and I also talk about it in the video.)
Often when I tap I include statements about ‘letting go any of this that isn’t even mine’, to clear anything that I’ve picked up from other people, whether it’s friends, family or even people I don’t know. Where it came from isn’t important. What is fascinating is that by intending to let go of any thoughts I’ve taken on from others, sometimes the thoughts and feelings I’m experiencing just disappear by my having that intention.
So, if you’re curious, try it for yourself and see what happens.
Tap it out.
Of course, through the process of using the EFT tapping, the stress talk and stress emotions usually reduce easily anyway. Then you can see what’s underneath, if anything.
As I found last Sunday, when I did a couple of rounds to tap out ‘stress’ and included releasing any of it that wasn’t even mine, there was nothing underneath. There wasn’t a specific situation or issue to address. Within 15 minutes I was feeling very different, more balanced and not connected to any negative feelings or self talk anymore.
So, I did a very quick positive round of EFT to get my energy flowing happily again and I went out to enjoy the day.
If there had been an issue underneath, I reckon I would have then been clearer about identifying it and then finding the most effective way to let that go.
This week’s video
In this week’s video I talk more about these tips and I share a quick demonstration of how I would do a round of tapping to reduce stress and release any of it that I’ve taken on from other people. Click here or on the image below to watch it now.
Final thoughts.
Please know that when you are feeling ‘off’, if you’re feeling stressed or doubtful or anxious, you can change that. Even if there’s a crazy situation you find yourself in, using the power of your mind you can change how you react to what’s going on around you (as well as what’s going on in your own head).
You might even notice a difference within a few minutes and regain your peace of mind with ease just by using the tips I’ve shared today.
Sometimes there’s deeper work to do, often it pays to ‘rinse and repeat’ if old patterns and thoughts come up. Persistence really does pay off. It helps us to truly kick the habit of stress and stress talk to the kerb.
So does having an ally, someone to help you notice when the stress is talking and taking over, someone to remind you to let it go. Whether it’s a good friend or a coach like me, it’s great to have that extra support.
If you’re fed up of stress talking over (and even trying to take over) your life and you’d like my personal support with kicking it to the kerb, I’d love to help you do just that. You can email me or book a free 15 minute skype or phone session with me, where we’ll look at how we can best do that, that by clicking on the link below.
calendly.com/ferrisjay
Happy tapping until next time,
Ferris.
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