I bet there’s someone in your life, that whenever you hear their name or even just think of them, you’ve an instant knot in your stomach or a frown on your face.
Maybe you’re angry at them for something they did that hurt you, or for something they didn’t do that they should have. Maybe they were mean or rude, maybe they rejected you. Whatever they did or didn’t do, it’s still stuck in your system. You can tell by that reaction you have to them.
Have you stayed home from a party because you know they’d be there, dreaded a business meeting with them (even fantasized about changing jobs because of them), or wished you didn’t have to go that family get together because you’d have to be around them?
It doesn’t have to be that way.
So, what can you do when people make you feel bad or seem really negative and you just don’t want to deal with them?
You might want to put your foot down and point blank refuse to connect with such people (and in extreme cases that may even be the best approach).
You might want to hide away quietly in a dark room or up a mountain for a while, so you don’t have to face them.
But really, that’s just running away from the problem and the energy behind it. If you do that it will just show up somewhere else or though someone else (have you ever found that before – different person, same pattern?).
Here’s my approach.
Firstly, I want you to know that you don’t have to let your reactions to them (and what they did or didn’t do) shape your life. Really, it isn’t about them, it’s all about you and your repsonses to them. You can find ways to consciously manage your emotions and energies so it becomes much easier to be around these people.
If you spend time dwelling on how they make you feel (no matter how justified it feels, no matter how wrong they are), you’re wasting your energy because those thoughts are major energy zappers (and there are people who dwell like this for decades – please don’t let that be you).
Law of attraction teachings ususally suggest that you distract yourself or to find positive aspects of that person so you can change around how you feel about them. There is a lot of wisdom in that, but there’s an extra step I’d like you to take.
I suggest dealing with the emotions that you’re feeling and allowing them to clear from your thoughts and energy system. My go to tool for this is EFT tapping.
Using EFT tapping to deal with negative people
I show you two different ways to use EFT tapping to deal with negative people in this weeks video, see below.
Now get positive.
After you’ve cleared out all that negative energy that you’ve been holding onto about them, you should find you are less triggered by how they act and less bothered by what happened in the past (if not, there’s more tapping to be done*).
Then you can focus on positive aspects of that person if you want to. For example, if they are grumpy can you focus instead on the fact that they can tell really funny jokes, or that they cook a lovely meal, or that they have a great sense of style?
If you can find something positive to think about them, then you’ve really turned that energy around.
N.B. Focusing on their positive aspects doesn’t mean that you have to agree with what they did or how they acted, it doesn’t mean you need to forgive them for what happened in the past, it just shows that you’ve stopped dwelling on the aspects of them that triggered you and you’ve remembered that there’s another side to them, which means you’re in for an easier ride whener your paths cross again.
What do you think?
If you tried the tapping, did you feel differently about the person afterwards?
How have you managed to deal with the negative people in your life?
Let me know in the comments below and feel free to share this post with someone you know who would beneit from it (I bet you know someone who is always telling you about ‘that person’ who drives them mad! If they do the tapping those conversations will be different in the future).
Thank you.
* If you need extra help with this, I can help.
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