Cultivating happiness.
Pharrell William’s song ‘Happy’ has been my anthem of late and it fits in perfectly with what’s going on in my life these days.
For the past month I have been embodying the concept of Unconditional Happiness, as inspired from recent teachings from Abraham-Hicks focusing on unconditional love (I was at their London workshop in Spetember and it was a fantastic experience, to say the least). So, I set myself a challenge.
Could I practice unconditional happiness?
Could my happiness become independant of what others were doing and what was showing up in my life?
Well, yes! At times anyway. I can hardly express the relief of that, of it not mattering what my bank balance was, of not needing to get outcomes that I desired in order to feel happy.
Mostly, we want things because we think they’ll make us happy or at least help us to feel better. It may be material things, like a nice car, money in the bank, being able to go on a nice holiday or having new clothes to wear. It may be emotional things, having a loving relationship, having fulfilling work, keeping loved ones safe. Whatever we want, that reason is always the same (or we do it to please others, to make them happy … which is a whole other kettle of fish).
Yet, if we need specific things to happen or circumstances to be a certain way before we can feel happy, then we’re on dodgy ground and we have to run around trying to control everything, to make it just right, which can be emotionally exhausting. We can end up feeling like we’re on an emotional rollercoaster, soaring and plummeting depending on the whim of others. It feels unstable to say the least.
But can you just ‘turn happiness on’ like a light switch?
Well, yes we can.
How? I have 3 mains ways that work for me and they all help ingnite feelings of happiness with me.
1. Remember: I choose to remember a glorious event or time from my past. It could be a vacation, being with wonderful people, being in a special place, a moment of great success. It just needs to bring a smile to your face when you think of it. When you think about it just for a little while, you start to feel those happy feelings, in the present moment.
2. Imagine: If you don’t seem to be able to tune into a fabulous memory – then go and use your imagination. Dream up a scenario that would make you feel esctatic. Milk it, bask in it and really FEEL it, feel those positive emotions.
3. Tune into whatever raises your spirits: I have some subjects that always get me feeling good. My fabulous dog, Sally, my lovely home and the sheer beauty of the natural world to name a few. I have these topics ready and waiting for when I want a little boost of feeling happy.
What are your ‘go to’ happy subjects? We all have some. Write a list, so when you need to raise your spirits, you instantly know what to think of.
Does this mean that we have to stick our head in the sand and ignore life’s challenges or our negative feelings?
No, it doesn’t mean we ignore what is going on around us, rather we don’t let setbacks ‘get to us’ or bring us down. We become selective and celebrate the good stuff while letting go the ‘bad’ stuff without dwelling on it.
I’m also not saying that we deny our true feelings. If we’re upset about something, that’s just how it is in that moment and we accept it and then deal with it (and EFT tapping is excellent for this). It’s more a case of realizing that things don’t HAVE to upset us. If something goes wrong, we don’t HAVE to feel bad, it’s a choice how we feel about it and respond to different situations.
Try it for yourself
Come tap along with me and lets get happy.
What do you think?
I’d love to hear from you. If you’ve tapped along with the video, to see how you felt afterwards and what shifts did you have? Did it help you feel happier?
Also, let me know how you cultivate unconditional happiness in your life. What helps you feel great, regardess of circumstances?
Just leave your comment below.
Feel free to share this post and video with anyone you know who will benefit from it.
Thank you.
hello, Is emotion more important than thoughts? Is it ok to ignore or do not react with emotions on intrusive bad thoughts? Is it ok to look, read, hear and read negative or bad words as ong as you are not reacting with negative emotions?
Hi Mike. Both emotions and thoughts give us valuable information.
Here’s my take on it. If you have a ‘negative’ thought but no negative emotion with it, then it isn’t very powerful and may not have the same influence as a thought that brings up powerful ngative emotions. As Abraham-Hicks note, our emotions are our guidance system, they show us where we are in relation to how good we can feel.
Thoughts are important too. It’s often said that our thoughts create our reality, so if you have negative thoughts or repeatedly expose yourself to negativity (in the form of words, people, song lyrics etc) it’s worth getting curious about that, and about whether it does influence your moods or not. You could also ask yourself what thoughts and situations you’d prefer to have in your life.
For example it can be easier to feel happy if you surround yourself with people who tend to be happy. Yet, sometimes we are exposed to people who aren’t happy (and we all have our off moments). When you have to be around grumpy, sad or negative people (at work, socially or in your family or community) Abraham-Hicks recommends looking for the best in them and in the situation.
The more you tend to your own happiness, the easier it is to be around people who differ from that (without being swayed by their emotional state).